Irreversible
by DN 111
Summary: Kagome lost her hope and began to lose interest in Inuyasha. She was to be killed after they made use of her eyes and her power (episode 126, featuring Akago.) She accepted her fate, fighting was useless. Inuyasha might have been too late. Something is meant to be and can hardly be undone…


**Note: ** This story is my alternative of Inuyasha Episode 126, plot altered slightly since the missing of Kikyo in episode 124. This is the episode where Kagome got molested by Akago, Kagura supervised as his babysitter. Why? Because I think that, in reality, Inuyasha could be very late rescuing Kagome…

Rating M for swear words and blood.

Read WARNING in the ending A/N.

**Chapter 1: Unprescripted**

She felt a wave of warm flush seeping into the numb skin covering her hands. Lifting her head to look to the front of her face, she gave Koga a light smile, relishing the comfort offered from his firm hands. Though, the flesh on cheeks was still exposed to the cold air, snapping her back to reality. She refrained herself from physically cringing her limbs. Perhaps, the skin on her cheeks is as bare as the expression on her face, and as naked as the emotion flashing through the depth of her eyes. Pitiful.

She said her thanks, and Koga departed.

Watching the retreating whirl of dust swallowing his dark figure, she averted her attention back to the campfire. The flickering orange hue seemed to be the only thing dormant enough to catch her attention. Her eyes began to lose their focus into the source of the radiating heat, while her ears replayed the question Koga had raised. "_Where is the mutt? Usually he wouldn't leave me in peace for holding you like this._"

…..

Stroking the little fur ball in her laps, seeking some humor, Kagome watched the monk's hesitant behavior around Sango. Perhaps, some of his overly intimate attempt to comfort the girl had unfortunately smothered the couple's sweet moments earlier.

From the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of red moving. Slightly tilting her head towards the direction of the approaching figure to confirm her assumption, Kagome regretted not falling asleep already. As much as she was worried about Inuyasha's safety, she preferred not to see him miserable, much less, handle a conversation with a depressed Inuyasha.

Standing up, brushing the dirt from the bottom of her skirt, she turned to face him head on. Taking a few steps away from camp, she exchanged a few deep breaths as her feet carried her out into the dully illuminated dirt path. _Might as well get over it… _

"Hi, Inuyasha," she greeted, feeling her attempt to lighten the mood appeared quite fruitless. "You found her?"

He shook his head letting a veil of sadness covering his face. Disappointed. Fear. Pained. Those expressions, she could read, even in the faint lighting from the sky of the dark night. She knew them well enough.

"Sorry. You waited for me?" he spoke, his voice rasp and hesitant from the dry air.

She nodded, "It's fine. You should rest. We can search for her later."

His face changed, as if he wanted to say something, but restrained himself from doing so. Without so much as giving her a response, he proceeded to walk past her, towards their camp site. Did he want to avoid her or something? Was it because of her intolerable resemblance to the missing girl or because of his emotionally stressed state?

He walked pass her. There wasn't much to it. It was understandable that if anybody were in a situation similar to his, they would be seeking comfort from the calm and peace resolution in loneliness.

But she couldn't help, couldn't control her trail of thoughts. There was some eerie premonition in his gesture, in this verbal exchange between the pair of them.

She felt…. He had just walked away from her.

He walked away from her.

He left her… standing alone, rooted on desiccating land, surrounded by gray rocks, dipped in the night breeze, drenched in darkness, in a dreary path of mount Hakurei.

She realized then that they would never have a future together, whether or not his first love is gone, whether or not his feeling for her, Kagome, was stronger. It was time for her to she accept the sinking truth. There would always be a wound unhealed within him, a memory unforgotten in her, and a distance unbridgeable between them. The clenching in her chest slowly rose into a hard lump, congested in her throat. That stuff would soon go up to her nose and threaten to let her tears run loose. Oh, how well she knew the way this kind of feeling running through her senses. She had grown too familiar with it already, during the past few years. Years of hopeless waiting and duration.

She stood, too drowned in emotional and logical assessment to notice the cold seeping into her bones. A shiver spiraled out of control, sending her into awareness. She winced, watching her own arms already winded up instinctively to wrap around either side of her.

The pain vibrating from her chest was quickly ebbed away, as she gave in to the faint echoes of the howling wind brushing pass her ears, and caressing her cheeks. The tingling sensation and the heat bundled up in her nasal cavity were pushed away by the frost icing spreading on the tip of her nose.

She couldn't remember dealing with weather as terrible as this one before in their earlier trips. Blinking at the reasons her mind conjured up, she kept on walking back to camp. It was usually either Inuyasha's outer haori or his arms that kept her warm if she was deprived of the campfire or her sleeping bag. She smiled at the thought. Perhaps, she had taken too much for granted.

She didn't pay attention to that pressure inside her body, until a tear or two fell. The warm moist coursed down her face, defrosting trails of frozen skin. She chuckled softly at her own progress in coping with stress relief and emotion control.

She paused, looked down at her feet to watch the tears being pulled down by gravity, shimmering in the faint moonlight. She watched the darkened blotch of soil faded back into its original color. She smiled, a brow lifted in shock, gazing at some white flowers suddenly blooming, scattering a few feet to the side. _Interesting. This cannot be that pure, can it? _Right, she couldn't be that distraught yet. Or so, she hope.

She tried to recall what was she thinking a minute ago, which could possibly hold power strong enough to give lives.

So, Kagome ventured a few steps to the edge of the path. She stood, looking out from the cliff, letting another tear fall into the black depth of the forest beneath. She waited. A wave of airy energy gently washed out into the distance from the spot below her, making leaves rustle, glittering in the dim nightlight as they toss and turn in reverberation. She broke into a large smile at the sound of distant birds chirping and animal cooing.

Kagome exhaled a restrained breath, turning to walk away towards camp, her mind fresh and free of thoughts.

Cozily tucked in her sleeping bag, she sent the wavering flame a blank smile. The swaying sparkle reflected on the dark brown walls of her irises. This was the day she received the last patches of evidence needed for the answer of her doubts and hope. It felt sort of elating to face the truth. That way, she would know how to do things accordingly.

With this emotional confusion untangled, she could finally let him go and work on a path for her own good.

She wasn't sure if the physical assault of the weather had clouded her thinking or helped her clearing it up. Had it exhausted her from reasoning that Inuyasha might be attempting to confirm the truth so he could move on with her? Had it helped her as a painkiller, or an antibiotic that treat emotional wounds? Whatever it was, the equation was solved and she was then very content to move on. She would care less about how he feel towards her, how he treat her.

She would rely less on him. She could take care of herself.

Gazing up at the starless space, she silently thanked nature for accompanying her, soothing her, letting its breeze heal her. Her thought wandered an ice pack and its purpose – to reduce pain and swelling. _What an analogy, amazing indeed. _

She cuddled little Shippo closer to her chest before letting his shallow snore drift her into slumber.

…

He felt torn.

The piggyback ride he shared with Kagome during the trip down Mount Hakurei caused something to upset in the back of his stressed mind. There was something about her friendly gesture that probed at his conscience. He had abandoned his friends and her for most of the day, for a few days already to search for Kikyo. And Kagome didn't seem so bothered or depressed at all. All the emotions which she usually had displayed naked on her very being, seemed to be elsewhere.

She had encouraged him on his search for the missing girl. She had happily offered him ramen. She had accepted the offer and climb onto his back without hesitation. It hurt her to watch him brood and seek out Kikyo, wasn't it? Then, why did she look so…. content, and calm?

His eyes strained on the back of Kagome. She was bending over some scraps of woods, which looked like they used to belong to a house. He intently observed the way the tanned form of the muscles on her legs and her arms moved. Miroku joined to lift some pieces aside. Inuyasha was too distracted by the sight of her to hear her sweet voice calling out to him, beckoning him to help. It was then, a faint sound of sobbing reached his ears from the direction of the ruined house. By the time he approached them, she already got the hand of the child beneath the ruins. Sango pushed out a few more pieces, letting Kagome dragging the kid out. She healed the poor kid's wound in an instant. And by the time she was done, she was still able to go about normally, as if her power hadn't been drained.

The strangeness in her overly energetic behavior shook a nerve in him. Something was definitely out of ordinary.

That same painful pressure built up in his chest, and guilt began to reach and grope at his heart. As much as he disliked the sight and the thought of her weeping and brooding over his lousy relationships, he longed for her affection, her attention – which was reserved for him and him only. He wanted her to cling onto his presence, to need him to protect her…

He remembered walking away from a conversation with her nights ago. He was too depressed over failing Kikyo to confide anything in his friends, much less facing an equally sad Kagome. So, he had deliberately refused her companionship. Running away from his overflowing emotions, he had decided to walk away her and seek peace in the desolation of the tree near camp.

Setting her down on her feet at the outskirt of a village, he looked up the sky, watched the edge of the sun disappeared behind Mount Hakurei. Soon, he would have to set off momentarily to search for Kikyo again. This couldn't be help really, unless he wasn't an honorable man. Similar thoughts replayed in his mind as he turned to steal a glimpse of the wavy black head.

_Forgive me, Kagome. I need to find out exactly whether or not she is alive, in order to move on._

_Otherwise I won't be able to forgive myself. Wait for me. _

A/N:

Inspired from Poe's Ligeia, Future World Music's Eternal Love… and my burnt pork ribs buried in the trash (talking about things cannot be fixed, talking about irreversible contingency, you know). Also, I feel like writing dead angst. The point here: one is love, two - it is neither his or her fault, but it could have happened differently if he hadn't done the deed.

Beware, there would be character death. But I don't feel like putting it as angst/tragedy, since readers tend to stray away from tragic fics. This is a "what if" case. What if the main character wasn't necessarily alive till the end? Here, I am portraying a very dramatic but realistic situation for our favorite couple. If it wasn't for the purpose of entertainment as the producers/writer intended, I don't think the evil force would so keenly spare the lives of main characters aaaall the time.

This story would content about two or three chapters. I know the standard should be around 5000 words each chapter. But I don't want to put it as a one shot, because…. I'm a bitch and I love attention, as in reviews and comments. Just kidding, all I want to know is how you guys think of this take on the plot. There would be an equal amount of narration on both Inu and Kag's stories.

Note on future chapter, the death can be undone, if there is a considerable demand for a sequel shot.


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